Jenessa Abrams

Are You Afraid?

1. Are you afraid that the baby will die?
2. Are you afraid that the baby will live?
3. Are you afraid that you will abandon your love?
4. Are you afraid that your love will abandon you?
5. Are you afraid that when you use the word love, you use it imprecisely?
6. Are you afraid that instead of love, what you actually feel is hunger?
7. Are you afraid that you aren’t old enough? You are older than you remember.
8. Are you afraid of not being good enough?
9. Are you afraid that when that baby is in your arms, it will not be enough?
10. Are you afraid that you will fail that baby?
11. Are you afraid that baby will think that you failed her?
12. Are you afraid that baby will think you’re a monster?
13. Are you afraid that you really are a monster?
14. Are you afraid that baby will inherit your trauma?
15. Are you afraid that one day someone will force themselves inside her?
16. Are you afraid that you will not protect her?
17. Are you afraid that she will not need your protection?
18. Are you afraid that she will blame you for the things that are broken inside her? Just like you.
19. Are you afraid that you want that baby to make you feel better?
20. Are you afraid that baby won’t make you feel better?
21. Are you afraid that you don’t want to feel better?
22. Are you afraid of what will happen, if it turns out, after all this, you and that baby are healthy?

Bio

I'm a writer and literary translator from New York. Baking bread and eating dark chocolate brings me tremendous joy. I have several loved ones who are immunosuppressed or have pre-existing medical conditions, which make them more vulnerable during this crisis.